lost & confused

I found this piece on my computer with a note that says "I don't know where I'm going with this, but I was feeling pretty mad when I wrote it". So, now I shall share it with the Internet.

So here it is:

I never liked the idea of romanticizing the state of being lost and confused. It seems like we're all indulging the idea of being so; we no longer look for a way out. The way fictional works portray being lost and confused has influenced a great deal of people to think that it's cool (glares at quirky indie films), but it isn't. It's natural to feel like we don't where we're going. You are allowed to feel lost and confused, but you need to look for ways to get back on the right rack. You can't wait for someone to find you, because no one will come for you if you don't move and look for help. The romanticizing of this idea is a hindrance to your success.

Now, here's a MS Paint drawing I created of a screencap of an imaginary indie film about a quirky waitress who had a huge rare meme collection that was stolen.  So now she is feeling lost and confused and tries to find meaning to her life again.

my wifi is back....let us have a moment of silence for this beautiful moment...

.....let us move on.
I know writing rants aren't new coming from me, but just bear with me on this one.

I am annoyed with my writing. I am annoyed at the fact that I can't seem to write anything without making it sound like that poorly-written-English-essay-that-you-probably-should've-handed-over-earlier-in-the-school-year-but-didn't-so-now-it-sounds-forced-and-incoherent-and-you-failed-the-class-and-it-makes-you-want-to-die.
I can take a guess on why my writing sounds like an overdue English paper. It is because my writing is built on fear. I am afraid to write because I am terrified of mistakes. This has been a hindrance to my success. I am terrified of what other people care about and what they don't and whether or not I care about it too. I know that it's all bad and I am trying my best to get over it. Hopefully, writing in this blog will help that.

I didn't want anyone I knew to find out I was writing a blog nor did I want a really wide audience since I can't seem to write when I know someone is there. The ideas just refuse to flow out of me. Buuuuuut since my mother shared this blog on her Facebook (thaaaankz mom *slow awkward thumbs up*) I have gained an audience...I think. I mean, according to my stats over 1,000 people has visited my blog. Yes, I can see all that. You have nothing to hide from me. I know if you've been checking my blog regularly mysterious Internet people. (Was it smart to call everyone out? I don't know if I should publish this anymore.).

Okay, I should move on to something else.....

MY INTERNET IS BACK!! WOO HOOO!!!!!

I've always thought I could live without the wondrously intoxicated world of the Internet, but it was just THE WORST!!!!! My sister and I got bored enough to play with our little sister's dolls.....and then aftermath, I created this:

It creeped my sisters out so...yeah.

That is all.

(^^^still need to work on that closing) 

Journal

I keep a journal. When I write in my journal, I don't care what I write about at all and when I come back to read them later, I'm quite surprise that my brain is capable of such things. (I'm not bragging, okay?  Keep ur cool man). But recently, my entries have been looking like they have been written by a 4th grader (No disrespect to 4th graders. I'm sure 4th graders can do a much better job at writing journals than I can.). My entries look something like this:

I know that doesn't look TOO bad, but when I compare this to my previous writings, it's stupid. I believe the reason for why my writing deteriorated is because I have almost completely stopped writing for fun recently. I used to write an entry everyday, but now I could go on for months without writing a single thing. This was incredibly self-destructive in terms of my writing. To fix this, I have decided to write something everyday about whatever I can think of (a word generator would come in handy) . It doesn't have to be too impressive, it's just stuff that would help me get my flow back. Hopefully, my love for writing shall one day rekindle and all shall be right in world.

That is all.

(Also, I should think of a better way to close my posts )